


Why Can't Someone Just Help Me Out

by canijustreadfanficpls



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Divorce, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jeremy is oblivious, M/M, Michael is a saint, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Pining, Pre-Squip, They are in Middle school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 14:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11106684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canijustreadfanficpls/pseuds/canijustreadfanficpls
Summary: The front door slammed, the abrupt and gut wrenching sound forcing itself into Jeremy's ears as it rippled throughout the house. The walls shook from the impact of the door, and he could hear the china in the cupboards trembling in it's quarters. He and his dad stood, staring at the source of the sound without moving a muscle, regret pooling in their stomachs. Now, their small, pathetic excuse for a house was housing one less person. Forever. She was gone, and she was never coming back.





	Why Can't Someone Just Help Me Out

**Author's Note:**

> I LOVE BE MORE CHILL!!! i am so obsessed ahh. i wanted to explore the time period BEFORE the squip happened. it sure was peaceful. ish. hope y'all like this monstrosity!

The front door slammed, the abrupt and gut wrenching sound forcing itself into Jeremy's ears as it rippled throughout the house. The walls shook from the impact of the door, and he could hear the china in the cupboards trembling in it's quarters. He and his dad stood, staring at the source of the sound without moving a muscle, regret pooling in their stomachs. Now, their small, pathetic excuse for a house was housing one less person. Forever. She was gone, and she was never coming back.

 

Jeremy's dad was the first to move, glancing over at his son with a deep sadness shimmering in his eyes. The sight lit a flame in Jeremy, and he couldn't stop the rage from building in his conscience. Why did this happen? How could this happen? They were supposed to be the normal happy family like everyone else. The anger took over his body, and he couldn't stop as he stomped over to his father, and jabbed a finger into his chest roughly.

 

"What the FUCK did you do!?"

 

He regretted the words as soon as he said them, but it was too late. He saw his dad's heart shatter more than it had before. Jeremy stumbled backwards, guilt dousing the once burning anger he had in his gut. His dad stood there, eyes brimming with tears as he tried to compose himself. Jeremy heard him inhale and exhale slowly, his voice quivering from the inevitable. He took his glasses off, rubbing the non existent dirt that resided there. Jeremy tried to ignore the tear falling down his guardian's cheek gingerly.

 

"I'm gonna... I'm just gonna, go to bed... now..." His dad sighed, awkwardly motioning towards the stairs. Jeremy just obligated to stare at the floorboards like it was nobody's business. He almost didn't notice his father leave. His footsteps were soft and gentle on the floor, making a faint tapping as he went up the stairs. Jeremy heard him close his bedroom door tenderly, and a muffled sob finally made it's way into the silence.

 

Jeremy felt a knot grow in his stomach. Everything was wrong, oh so wrong. Why couldn't he pretend that everything was okay like he always did? Like how every night he would stay curled up in his room, and pretend not to hear the screaming and the beer bottles smashing into the wall. The next day, he would walk into school like nothing even happened. No one needed to know. And no one looked like they did. Because the Heere's were a regular old family. Just like everyone else. Right?

 

Jeremy couldn't register what was happening as he blindly stormed into his room. The air felt cold and damp in there, and the entire room seemed to scream with anxiousness. Jeremy's skin was littered with goosebumps as he shivered from the sudden change of temperature. His room was the farthest from the house heater, and never failed to be freezing cold. He got used to it, but today, it somehow felt so much colder than before.

 

It was raining fairly heavily outside. Jeremy could hear the pitter patter of rain falling onto his window sill in a never ending cycle. It sounded like it was talking to him, trying so hard to get a message across. He tried to listen in, but the blood rushing in his ears was able to cancel out any source of sound. An uneasy feeling seemed to trap Jeremy in place. He needed to hear what the rain was trying to tell him.

 

"Stop it, you're going insane." He whispered to himself into the air. He needed to do something. Something, anything. But he was stuck. He was probably forgetting something, and his brain was nagging and nagging him to do anything, anything at all! But he was coming up empty, he couldn't find his way. Something, something, do something. He was pacing. He was panicking. He was choking--choking, oh god. He couldn't breathe.

 

He couldn't breathe. He needed to do something. But what could he do? He could feel the panic grow. It was like an infection, it just kept spreading and getting worse and worse and worse. His vision suddenly became blurry, and he realized that he was now crying. He angrily wiped his eyes, a little too hard, and whimpered in annoyance. God, he wished he had the skill to just be fine for once. He began scanning his surroundings with darting eyes. For what? He didn't exactly know. He just needed something to calm him down, something to rely on, someone to--

 

Michael.

 

Jeremy's best friend of ten years always seemed to know what to do. No matter what the situation, he would somehow get himself, and anyone he cared for out of it. There was nothing Jeremy hadn't told Michael. Hell, if you go through your entire elementary, middle, and soon to be high school experience with each other, there was no way you couldn't. Michael knew things weren't... perfect at Jeremy's house, but even he couldn't expect something like this. Jeremy would probably just annoy him. Tell him about circumstances he had no control of, and just waste his time. But he knew he had no other choice. He slowly inched his way to his bedside table, shakily reaching for his phone. The blood in his ears seemed to rush so much stronger, and he could hear his heartbeat pumping, throbbing. He eventually grasped his phone and tapped Michael's contact with trembling fingers.

 

He collapsed on his bedroom floor from sudden exhaustion, and slammed the back of his head on his bed quite hard. But he didn't care. He weakly lifted up his arm, pressing the phone against his ear, hearing the incessant, piercing ringing sound.

 

"C-C'mon, go, go." He stuttered to himself. He would give anything for his best friend to pick up the phone. He needed Michael. He just needed to hear his voice. He just needed to--

 

"Jeremy! My buddy! What's happenin' ma man?"

 

Relief flooded over Jeremy as he heard the ecstatic voice. The tears started to flow again, and he internally cursed himself. Why did Michael's voice make him cry? He wasn't given a chance to answer Michael's question anyway, because he continued to ramble on like he usually did.

 

"Guess what I just fuckin' bought... APOCALYPSE OF THE DAMNED! There was only one copy left and I got it before some crack addict did. It was insane! Hey, you should come over so we-"

 

Jeremy sniffled, ceasing Michael's dialogue to a complete halt. Silence casted itself onto the "conversation" as Jeremy tried desperately to stifle his emotions and as Michael tried to listen in. Jeremy wasn't sick. Michael knew what state his best friend was in 24/7 (that wasn't normal? Huh). Jeremy was crying. He rarely cries. Hell, Michael couldn't recall the last time he did. The lanky teen had a knack for locking his feelings away for no one else to see. But Michael knew his best friend. Something was up. And he was going to find out what.

 

He went to say something, his hand clenching the flimsy video game packaging he was holding, but was interrupted as Jeremy involuntarily inhaled sharply, his whole body jerking helplessly as cries wracked his body. Michael was quick to catch the sound, dropping the video game packaging on the ground as he used both hands to put the phone as close to his ear as he could. "Jeremy? Are you..."

 

"Can you just... come over... please..." Jeremy eventually whispered. His voice was scratchy, and barely sounded like him. The teens vulnerable words shattered Michael Mell's heart, and he sprung into action without a second of hesitation.

 

"I'm coming JereBear. You want me to hang up?" He asked quietly as he tried not to drop his phone as he opened his backdoor. Michael heard a panicked whimper at his question, and he internally cringed. Obviously, that not the right thing to say there. "Alright alright. I'm still here. I'll be there soon. I promise."

 

Michael didn't even check if his bike tires had enough air as he began riding as fast as he could to Jeremy's house. He knew the way by heart, and didn't care if it was almost eleven o'clock at night. His friend needed him. He didn't even notice it was raining until he felt cold liquid dripping down his back. And when he did finally notice, he put his hood up, trying to protect his electronic device that was keeping Jeremy sane at the moment. The panicked teen's breathing sounded ragged and forced, like he was having trouble doing so. The occasional snivel made it's way through the line, causing Michael's stomach to flip in worry. Jeremy sounded like he was at such a weak state, that hanging up the phone would cause him to... Michael shook his head, trying to scare away those thoughts. Jeremy would be okay. Everything would be okay.

 

Michael managed to stay on the phone with Jeremy while he biked frantically. He was able to hold it in place between his shoulder and ear, and still bike properly (if properly means almost running into a fire hydrant). The heavy rain caused Michael's bike tires to be very slippery (thus causing the fire hydrant incident). It wasn't a thunderstorm, just drenching, weighing rain, that looked like it would never stop. How perfect for it to be raining like that at a time like this. The sky was darker than it normally would be at night, making everything so much harder for Michael. His eyesight wasn't the best, and he relied on his glasses very heavily. But god dammit, he was getting to Jeremy's house even if it killed him.

 

The two boys said not a word to each other over the phone. Jeremy just listened to Michael's heavy breathing when he went up a steep hill, his soft mutterings about how cute Dustin Kropp's dog is, and his comforting reassurances like "I'm almost there Jeremy" and "Hang in there bud". Jeremy attempted to hold back his crying, but he knew he was failing. He felt so pathetic, crying and loosing himself over this. He should be happy that she was out of his life now. But he couldn't stop telling himself that it was all his fault.

 

Maybe he could've prevented it. If he just did what she wanted all the time, maybe she would've stayed. Maybe if he was the intelligent, obedient, confident son that she wanted, everything would be normal. And Michael wouldn't be forced to help him. Again. Jeremy knew he shouldn't have called him, but it was much too late. Michael has never said no to Jeremy. No matter what was at stake, he would do literally anything for him. Jeremy just couldn't figure out why. Why him, of all people. Any other person in the world deserved it much more than him. And every time he would tell Michael this, the shorter boy wouldn't relent. There had to be a reason why. He just couldn't figure it out.

 

Michael finally made it to Jeremy's house, mentally cursing that it took five more minutes than it usually did to get there. He leaped off his bike seat, letting out a small shriek as he almost fell to the muddy ground. His bike toppled over, now a dirty mess. But he didn't give two shits about it as he barged through this best friend's garage.

 

"I'm here. Are you in your room?" He asked with the gentlest voice he could muster. He almost missed Jeremy's response, which was a high pitched "uh huh".

 

"Alright. You're gonna be okay. I'm gonna hang up now. I'll see you in two seconds alright?"

 

Jeremy hummed and sniffled once more before dropping his phone as his arm fell to the ground like a boneless rag doll. He could hear scuffling in the garage, and he smiled for what felt like the first time in years. Michael was here.

 

Michael noticed that there was one less car than there usually was whilst looking around in Jeremy's garage. He shrugged it off, more focused on grabbing Jeremy's spare back door key from under the welcome mat. A while back, Jeremy put the welcome mat in front of the back door because Michael always went through that door when he hung out with him after school almost everyday. Michael smiled at the memory as he unlocked the door. He physically stepped backwards in surprise as he opened it.

 

An insane draft seemed to fly past Michael, and a shiver went up his spine. He now had goosebumps, and an uncomfortable feeling. Something was off. And what he saw from the doorway firmly confirmed his suspicions. The kitchen, more rather, the entire house was an absolute mess. Each room didn't fail to have some sort of arrangement of empty or nearly empty alcoholic beverages. They were probably... hers.

 

Michael walked into the house, cautiously closing the door behind him, and peered inside the kitchen carefully. Normally... she would be hanging out in here doing god knows what. But thankfully she wasn't there today. Michael didn't stop to think why. The kitchen was littered with smashed bowls and glass. Three bowls of uneaten food were placed on what was left of a table and some cabinets were smashed in. Did she do this? Michael became infuriated at the thought, and he huffed as he turned around the find Jeremy.

 

He approached his best friend's room door, and knocked softly. "Jeremy? Can I come in?"

 

He heard some movement through the door, and a weak voice called out to him.

 

"Yeah..."

 

The voice cracked mid word, and Michael's stomach leaped. It felt like forever since he heard Jeremy's voice properly. Even though he just heard it over the phone. Something about hearing it in real life again made Michael's heart soar. Was that gay? He didn't know. But he knew his voice didn't have the happy, nerdy tone it always did. He was determined to fix it.

 

Michael didn't hesitate as he slowly opened the door, and observed what was inside. Jeremy was slouched up against his bed, with tears streaming down his red and blotchy face. Michael tried his best to keep his cool, but he couldn't stop his eyebrows from ceasing in concern. He wasted no time getting inside the room and closing the door once more for privacy. He made his way over to his friend, keeping eye contact with him the whole time as he sat down right next to him. After a few seconds of pause, Jeremy leaned on Michael's shoulder heavily, and Michael slightly flinched at the sudden gesture. He felt his cheeks warm up and sweat accumulate on his forehead. Jeremy was not one for much contact. He did not appreciate hugs as much as your average person, and Michael was forced to keep his temptations at bay. This was not a normal experience. His voice got caught in his throat as he tried to speak, still trying to act as calm as possible.

 

"H-hey... what's going on man?"

 

"She's gone Michael."

 

There was no pause between Michael's question. Michael's eyebrows shot up, and he turned to look at his friend in shock. Jeremy forced himself to stare straight ahead.

 

"What!?"

 

"She just... left, and took all the money with her." Jeremy choked out. He felt his shoulders tremble, and he couldn't hold it in anymore. He launched himself towards Michael, and pressed his face into his red sweater. He couldn't stop the sobs now, and he gripped tightly onto Michael's sleeves like he'd never let go. Michael was taken aback as he watched his friend of ten years break right in front of him. He could feel Jeremy's tears soaking through his already wet sweater, and he heard muffled wails that stabbed Michael's heart into a million pieces. He shakily wrapped his arms around Jeremy's thin frame, and pulled him closer.

 

"Hey, hey. You're okay. You'll be okay." He whispered into Jeremy's ear as his petted his wild hair. Jeremy continued to sob, his entire body shaking with hysterics. Michael didn't cease petting his hair as he rocked Jeremy back and forth like a baby. So what if they looked like a bunch of two year olds. If that's what Jeremy needed, Michael would deliver.

 

Jeremy continued to weep for what felt like hours. The two boys hadn't moved their positions at all for the last twenty minutes. The tall teen's cries eventually dwindled down to soft hiccups and sniffles. His face was still buried in Michael's sweater, which felt cool on his hot face. His eyes burned from the ongoing abuse of the night, so he closed them gently. Michael's stroking of his hair felt soothing, and he hummed in contentment. He almost forgot about the horrors of that day.

 

He was beginning to doze off when he suddenly realized the reality of the situation. A fourteen year old, clung to another fourteen year old like a koala. He leapt away in a moment of panic, and he felt his face burning up again. He felt... colder without his friend's embrace, and was left with guilt and embarrassment. He wrapped his arms around his awkwardly long legs and rested his head on his knees, refusing to look at Michael.

 

Michael frowned as Jeremy bolted away, and blushed with humiliation. What even just happened? Did Jeremy... not like it? He probably just ruined their relationship. He made it awkward. Oh no. Michael cleared his throat nervously, and pretended to fix his hair (when he gives zero fucks about what he looks like). He cautiously mimicked Jeremy's position, and was obligated to stare at the ground, waiting for something to happen between them.

 

"Sorry..."

 

Michael barely heard the word being spoken, and he whipped his head to look at a shameful Jeremy.

 

"Dude, what are you sorry for? You don't have to apologize." Michael spoke, mentally face palming because he said it a little too fast. Jeremy shrugged, and sighed in defeat.

 

"I just... can't help but think it was my fault."

 

Michael shook his head roughly and Jeremy looked over in sadness.

 

"There is NO WAY this was your fault. That bitch didn't deserve you, or your father. She just laid around and used up all your money on fucking alcohol. She can go burn in hell."

 

Jeremy's face shifted into one of terror. His father. The one who was now sleeping in a bed, alone, who must now raise a son who blamed him for it. His father was a very kind man, and wouldn't say anything as his now ex-wife would scream profanities at him. Jeremy knew he was going to be utterly broken from this. Jeremy felt more tears collect in his eyes, and he hissed in frustration, slamming his fist into his eyes as he furiously rubbed at them. Michael shifted anxiously at his friend's actions, and grabbed Jeremy's arm carefully.

 

"Oh-oh god, don't do that, you'll hurt yourself... please. I'm sorry--I shouldn't have said that, I-"

 

"You didn't do anything." Jeremy quietly murmured which ceased Michael's stuttering. He let Michael gently remove his hand from his eyes and shifted his body to fully face him. The two boys were now sitting criss-cross applesauce with their hands in each other's. Michael was frantically thinking "not gay not gay not gay", trying to convince himself that Jeremy just needed some comfort. Besides, Jeremy was a normal, straight guy who probably thought that two best friends, in a relationship that would change both of their lives forever, was weird. Michael wouldn't want Jeremy to be part of something he didn't want anyway. He would gladly just stay behind, while Jeremy lived his life with some girl that didn't understand how perfect Jeremy was. Because nothing could compare to Jeremy Heere. Fuck, Michael couldn't.

 

"I just... was a real dick to my dad... after she slammed the door." Jeremy whispered in shame, looking down at his lap. Michael smiled fondly as he said,

 

"He'll understand. You two aren't going through this alone. You will talk to him in the morning, right?"

 

Jeremy nodded, but Michael knew that he didn't believe him. The two sat in silence, not worried about breaking it. Michael wanted so badly to rub Jeremy's soft hands with his fingers, but he obligated to just awkwardly twitching them now and then. They say you know what true love feels like when you feel it. But god dammit, Michael was lovestruck. Everything about Jeremy was just so... wonderful. His bright, blue, crystal eyes, his fair, smooth skin, the way his entire face goes red when he's embarrassed, how soft and poofy his hair gets, and when it gets wet, it goes all curly. Michael pushes Jeremy into the rain any chance he gets, always playing it off as a joke, but in reality, wanting to see the adorable, curly mess. But he wouldn't do that today. Not tonight.

 

Michael felt Jeremy shudder violently, and he looked at him in concern. "You okay?"

 

"Y-yeah just... cold." Jeremy answered, his shoulders closing in on themselves. Michael took matters into his own hands and released Jeremy's hands (although he really didn't want to) as he grabbed the comforter off of his friend's bed. He draped it over both of them and snuggled close to Jeremy. Jeremy squirmed uncomfortably, and stared at Michael as he somehow blushed harder.

 

"Uh... Michael?"

 

"Body heat bro. No homo." Michael quickly responded as he put on a fake smile, his stomach twisting a little. Jeremy didn't ask anymore questions, and he suddenly realized how tired he was. It was now one in the morning, and the rain was still going outside. Jeremy felt his eyes drooping, and he finally allowed sleep overtake his drained body. As he dozed off, his body leant into Michael's shoulder, and he felt... safe. Everything had gone to shit. But right in that moment, everything was okay. He would figure it out. Somehow.

 

Jeremy didn't have the energy to move. The setup Michael made was very comfy anyways. And finally, FINALLY, he fell into a much needed sleep.

 

Michael tensed as Jeremy leaned into him, expecting him to launch away like he did last time. But this time, he heard his friend's breathing grow heavy and slow, and he was at last asleep. Michael smiled warmly. His work here was done. But he didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay in that moment forever. With Jeremy's head on his shoulder, at peace, not having to worry about the demons of the world. But Michael knew, that was probably the last time he'll ever experience that. So he made a deal with himself to not fall asleep, and cherish the night for as long as he could.

 

Jeremy had a long line of challenges in front of him. And he wasn't about to go through them alone. Michael was there. And Michael would stay there, no matter what it took. Because they were best friends.

 

Michael's smile faltered slightly.

 

Yeah... friends.

**Author's Note:**

> my boys ;-;


End file.
